Letting in the Sunshine with Gratitude

The struggle ends when the gratitude begins. ~Neale Donald Walsch

In my life I have experienced some dark times, mostly self-imposed, and almost all created in my mind. This blog is my way of sharing what I have learned, and perhaps helping someone, who is suffering as I was, to see the beauty in life. 

When my three sons were young, I was depressed, but I didn't know I was depressed. I just thought that everyone struggled to get out of bed everyday, struggled to put on a happy face, and dreaded to go to sleep at night because the struggle would begin again all over the next morning. I had a quote by John Milton on the window sill above the kitchen sink. 

"The mind is its own place, and in itself can make a heaven of hell, a hell of heaven." 

Somehow this quote spoke to me. I knew that my mind was my own, and I was creating this self-imposed hell, but I did not know how to  make the heaven part work. The acknowledgement of the truth of Milton's words did not make my heaven appear. 

The closet of my mind was full. It was full of complaints, negativity, and self-pity. The problem with this kind of clutter is that it multiplies and fills up all available space. There is no room for anything else. I looked to others to make me feel better, which worked for me at times, but it never lasted for long.

Much has been written in recent years about gratitude. As a young adult my own experience with gratitude had been reciting a mandatory prayer at dinner and responding to "What do you say?" when someone gave me something in front of my parents with a forced "Thank you." I did have bouts of gratitude, usually when receiving gifts at Christmas, but daily gratitude was not a habit of mine. 

Ultimately, I learned that my negative thoughts, not necessarily based upon reality, had to be replaced with authentic gratitude for the many blessings in my life, or I was doomed to the torrents and tempests of my own mind. Switching over from my habits of thought was not an easy task. I equate it to a couch potato beginning an exercise routine that includes lifting weights and running. 

Like the couch potato turned fitness seeker, mushy gratitude muscles soon developed, and I was feeling much better. Like a muscle, gratitude must be exercised daily or it will become weak.  Film producer and writer Rhonda Byrne challenges us in her book The Power  to make a list of 100 things we are grateful for every day until we embody a true feeling of gratitude. 

I suppose with enough practice gratitude will become a way of being, but I admit I am not there yet. It is my goal, however, because I know how much better my life has been since practicing gratitude so far. So give it a try. Make that list. Force your mind to find all of the blessings in your life right now. It might take a while, and your mind may give you quite a bit of resistance at first, but I can guarantee it will be worth the effort. Let me know how it goes. I would love to hear your stories. 

One proviso, being grateful for the people in our lives can provide for deep feelings of gratitude, but other people are not in charge of our happiness, so look deeply for everything in your life to be grateful for, including but not limited to the people. I leave you with one of my favorite gratitude videos. Perhaps watching this each morning would be a great way to start your day of gratitude.