Being Sure

Piglet sidled up to Pooh from behind. "Pooh!" he whispered.

"Yes, Piglet?" "Nothing," said Piglet, taking Pooh's paw.

"I just wanted to be sure of you." ~A.A. Milne

When do we first learn to trust? Is it when we look into our mother's eyes and know that she is our world and she will be there to feed, clothe, and hold us? And when do we lose trust? Could we look into those same eyes with the expectations and needs of a newborn, only to find that the woman we are looking at cannot meet them?

Or is it later, when we learn to love someone outside of our immediate family, those people we can trust to love us no matter what and who can push every button we have? Is it after we fall head over heals in love with someone who uses words like always and forever, and "I'll be there for you no matter what." and we find out that these were just empty promises? Our heart broken and wounded, we retreat to the corner to lick our wounds, to once again emerge ready to love, or so we think.

But the wounds have never really healed. A scar would be just fine, but this wound is open and tender. The next person we meet can't see the wound through our smiles and laughter, all disguises to cover our pain. That is not until the wound is touched..... Those words, once so precious and loving, forever and always, are mentioned again, and we go off the handle over some insignificantly small matter. Back to the corner we go, licking the wounds, leaving our new love standing in amazement not exactly sure what happened. A couple of these episodes and the relationship is history before it even sprouted wings. There are two casualties here, us and the new guy or gal.

And then one day someone comes along that we don't want to lose. The same drama is played out, but this time it is like we are looking in a mirror. What we see is painful, but true. We cannot deny its truth. We see ourselves for the very first time. Sometimes what is there is so amazingly beautiful, we are in paradise.....and then sometimes it is so haggard and ugly that we wince at the view. Then slowly, but surely, we are able to look at ourselves without looking away, without self-rejection. We are healing.

Soon, we are able to really see the person we are with, not the reflection of ourselves, our pains, but truly seeing. This person has been there through it all. We can trust again. We, like Piglet, are sure of someone.

photo credit: K, Paul. "Do You See Piglet. Look At Their Tracks!" Flickr. Yahoo!, 28 Nov. 2008. Web. 07 Feb. 2015.